[Part 2] Worst Anime – I watched them so you don’t have to

(WordPress crashed 3 times while writing this. I’m so done.)

This is based off a database I found that has some kind of fancy statistics calculation to it. I’m surprised I actually have watched a lot of stuff on that list, so here goes.

Part 1 here.

Twinkle Nora Rock Me (did I spell that correctly?)

Yes, I watched the legend. On 1.5 speed to make the animation seem smoother. It didn’t help.

TNRM is what happens when a guy gets enough budget to animate his imaginary girlfriend and makes her do every badass things imaginable for no logic at all. If Nora was as famous as Mary Sue, the word Nora will actually replace the term Mary Sue for characters of her type. And the small guy is obviously not the creator’s stand-in.

Nora has an uninteresting plot, cheesy music that does not really fit the scene, and horrible powerpoint animations. All the random dancing did not help. Nora, you’re not a Disney princess.

Legend of Lemnear

I feel that there’s an actual plot in Lemnear. However, the boobs were too distracting.

Plus side: Even for its era, I thought the animation looked really pretty. Also, that scene close to the end almost had me.

Compared to some stuff from the first part, Lemnear wasn’t that bad. It was very forgettable. Yeah, it was bad but definitely not worst. Just that the focus was too much on the boobs.

Review here.

Saint Beast

This was actually the first BL anime I saw. It was super cringey. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s bad when that’s all there is to the anime. The guys also didn’t have much of a chemistry aside from like, one pair. The characters were flat and there’s not much going on in terms of story. I felt that it’s not really worth the time.

Bloodivores

That’s a sword stuck on his body, btw

The only reason I ever bothered with this anime is because Mili sang the opening theme (I have the song on their album, Miracle Milk) and people said the anime was really bad. I tried to find out how bad it was. The anime has failed me. It is actually pretty good. For the first two episodes.

Bloodivores is a mess, but it’s a mess with potential. Take each individual element and you have a whole series to go off on, and it will make a pretty good story. Scientific vampires. Half-breed. Hemomancy. Getting stuck in a space-time prison. Anything. Take the first two episodes, continue in that direction and you’d get yourself a Deadman Wonderland. Instead, this anime tried to cram everything together and make it go at a crawling pace. I skipped entire episodes and did not miss anything. And the series did not end with anything. Like, bruh if you’re going to adapt a manhua you have to either speed it up or make it go on forever like Doluo Dalu, not just go super slow and cut if off this way.

In terms of character development, there is no character development. I am with the majority that main girl is annoying, and there’s this guy that walks around topless (one person pointed out why he’s topless but the remark was ignored) with a sword stuck in his ribs, to boot. What the hell.

Well, it’s not the worse thing I’ve seen, but considering this thing is 12 episodes instead of 30 minutes, it’s worked its way into this list. Congratulations.

D.I.C.E.

Seriously, I saw this when I was less than 10 years old and I didn’t like it, that’s how bad it was. Animation is average for that time and there’s absolutely nothing memorable about it.

Duel Masters

Shobu Cards, as they’re called in my country. The anime itself is pretty standard and very forgettable. I watched it when I was seven and even back then I didn’t even like it.

Boku no Pico

wait sorry this is Rico from Gunslinger Girl

Aha! Now we get to the real good stuff. This is the real legend in terms of worst anime ever. Boku no Pico is an anime about child abuse disguised as a hentai, if I were to believe the theories on Youtube. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get through this anime. It’s glorified sexual assault on a minor, and the rest of the series goes on about Pico dealing with his trauma by… escapism?

Boku no Pico is… just don’t. Don’t if you’re not strong enough. I admit that I am not. Just, no. Not even for curiosity’s sake. No.

I tried to find out if Kuso Miso Technique had an anime adaptation. Thank god there was none, or else I’d feel obligated to give it a watch for this post.

Mars of Destruction

10/10 funniest anime I’ve seen in 2021 so far. Certainly worthy as the heralded ‘worst anime of all time’. I’ll list what happened:

1. Girls gets head blown off. Friends wait until the headless body arrives at the ER and the doctor said ‘this one is gone’ to actually feel sad about it.
2. The MC is the worst possible version of Shinji Ikari.
3. Nobody knows why the hell a high school kid is fighting along combat experts. The reasonable thing here is that in the story, said high school kid is utterly useless (given that he has no training), but the unreasonable thing is that why the hell did none of the ‘experts’ give him any?
4. Said combat experts never used any of their skills. There is nothing differentiating them aside from hairstyle.
5. The big revelation is that humanity is actually from Mars, which doesn’t align with current science. Oh well, I guess chimps are from Mars too, then.

The soundtrack is just a remixed version of classical music you could probably name. Like, I could name almost every song that was used as the soundtrack. There’s Moonlight Sonata (first movement),  Gymnopédie No.1, Bach’s Prelude, and some other stuff I’m too lazy to go back and listen to.

I’ll give Mars of Destruction one thing: the animation is better than Twinkle Nora.